I’ve had it with my fiancé’s 16-and-a-half-year-old son, who lives with his mother, my fiancé’s ex of nearly five years, and am ready to tell him off. My fiancé and I have been dating for two years. The son refuses to have anything to do with me and is jealous of my fiancé’s relationship with me. I’ve had contact with him only one time, at a birthday party, and he ignored me until I approached him and asked him to try and understand his dad’s need to have a life. Afterwards, my fiancé caught hell from the ex, who said that I badmouthed her to her son—a total lie. I’ve never before or since spoken to the son, and I’ve never spoken to the ex or to anyone about her.
My fiancé is supposed to have weekend visitation every other week, which has never happened. Even when he makes plans to stop by and see his son, the son cancels at the last minute. It breaks my fiancé’s heart. When he does get to see his son, such as when they make plans to go to lunch, my fiancé gets there and the son asks my fiancé to just give him the money that he would have spent for the lunch because he needs a new backpack, new cell phone, new shoes, etc. And then my fiancé is asked to leave. The ex just says he was lucky that he got to see his son for a while.
The son constantly tells my fiancé—who was homeless and bankrupt when I met him, living with a 68-year-old woman, and now living with me—that it’s not fair that his dad goes dancing with his “girlfriend” while his son needs books for school, new clothes, etc. (My fiancé pays child support, even though he’s still bankrupt and doesn’t even have enough money to file for bankruptcy. He owes me nearly ,000. I pay for nearly all of our “dates,” which are mostly free or cheap. Recently, the ex put such a guilt trip on my fiancé that he cashed in his life insurance annuity and gave all the money to her and the son. He doesn’t even have enough money to pay for his funeral if he dies.)
When my fiancé talks on the phone with his son, he asks the son if he wants to say hello to me and the son says he has to go and hangs up.
I’m ready to tell this kid that I don’t give a flying rip if he ever speaks to me. The kid is old enough to accept the fact that his father has a new life and a woman in his life, and that he would be on the street if it weren’t for me. I’ve sat by and watched the boy break his father’s heart for two years, and watched the ex and the son extort money (some of it mine) from my fiancé for two years. Yet, my fiancé has never lost his temper and continues to talk gently to his son like he’s a two-year-old. The boy (young man) is in 11th grade, taking 12th grade classes. He’s smart. He’s no child. I’m mad. I think the boy (young man) needs a good tongue lashing. I seriously don’t care if he ever speaks to me because I’m inclined to never speak to him if he does come around at this point. I’m the kindest, most generous, soft-hearted person in the world. I don’t have children. This kid could stand to benefit from me. But I’m nobody’s fool. Look at all the years he’s wasting, mostly of the time he could be spending with his dad. I want to give him a piece of my mind.
My fiancé keeps putting off marrying me—I think because of the son. And I’m tired of living in sin. I’m at my wit’s end.